Your Relationship With Food

**Trigger warning. If you struggle with disordered eating, unhealthy relationship with food or exercise this may be a topic to have a health care professional or a support person with you while you work though. Sending you so much love**

Piggybacking off of yesterday's topic of your relationship with exercise today, we're focusing on your relationship with food. One that is more common and highly publicized than exercise. And often very difficult to work through.

The topic of this course is Self Care and that will be our primary focus today around your relationship with food but in the future I plan to launch a course surrounding nutrition. Stay tuned!

In order to really get to the root causes of your illness you have to learn to heal your relationship with different parts of yourself. Food being a big one. We live in a society where a very specific body type is worshiped while anything slightly out of that model is judged, ridiculed and criticized....especially by the person inhabiting the body. I can speak from complete experience when I say this. It's what led to my unhealthy relationship with food and exercise for a majority of my life. Every pound gained, new stretch mark, bump of cellulite or comment from another person would lead me down a rabbit hole of self criticism.

"Why can't I look more like her" "Why did I have to eat that ice cream last night?" "Why can't I just stop eating the sweets?" "If I would have gained less weight during my pregnancy I wouldn't have that saggy skin full of stretch marks".

I was the cause of my suffering. I was the one feeding myself one line after another until I was so deep in the trenches of hating myself I would swing into cycles of starvation. I trained my body not to be hungry in the morning. Thinking that if I started my day with no food, I could get a workout in and burn calories then be in a caloric deficit immediately. And then I tracked my meals so closely that I knew every calorie coming onto my body and then I obsessed over them. A cup of too much fruit would be cause for a spiral. I was scared of nearly every food and ingredient because so and so research said that it would cause xy&z and I'll be fat or sick if I ate it. My entire eating habits were directly linked to my self worth. What I did or didn't eat, how bloated I may be the next day based on what I put in my body the day before and the half pound fluctuations on the scale were my ways of measuring how successful I was.

It was all a way for me to distract myself from doing the inner work I desperately needed to do.

Food is something I can control. Exercise is my decision. I can have enough willpower to do both of those things perfectly when there are a million circumstances outside of my control in my life. This is a product of having many situations as a child that made me hyper independent, traumatized and lacking control. When I can focus on the surface level things that no one can take away from me I don't have to address why that's my go to for coping. Yikes, right?!

I had to get deep. Real deep. Inner child and shadow work lead me to realize some unhealed core wounds that manifested in a very unhealthy body. My metabolism was very screwed up from years of not eating when my body is supposed to (hello, you're supposed to be hungry in the morning and you're supposed to eat breakfast ) when I broke my metabolism, it lead to adrenal issues, hormone imbalances and endocrine mishaps. Read that again, it was not because of some out of my control environmental or genetic was MY unhealed patterns that needed to be addressed to begin bringing my body back into balance.

I promise you, your relationship with food hinges on the same work. *If you are in a delicate situation please do not do this work alone. Pair it with a therapist or safe person in your life. Feel free to reach out if you need a friend to process with*

One of the highest acts of self care you can do is to prioritize your relationship with food.

Foods are not good or bad. They simply are.

You are not good or bad for putting them in your body. You simply are.

Your decision to take extra time to fuel yourself with nutrients is not out of punishment for weight gain or an unbalanced body, it is because you cherish your vessel and want to honor it.

Your pint of oat milk ice cream on the couch with your fiancé while binging Manifest on Netflix on the 4th of July is not something to beat yourself up over, it's a special time shared with a loved one (sounds oddly specific huh? This just happened to me 2 days ago lol).

Those 5,10, 15 lbs you gained have absolutely nothing to do with your self worth and who you truly are. They do not define you.

You are worthy of nourishment and food that will make you feel good.

You are also worthy of a splurge with your community while you make memories.

Today's Task: When you sit down for a meal today, I want you to take an extra moment with your food. Don't dive right in, don't be on your phone, don't be watching tv. Just sit. Take 3 deep breaths and feel the appreciation for each food on your plate. That protein that fuels your muscles, those carbs that (are not the enemy btw) bring your energy and those healthy fats that support healthy cells & help balance your hormones. Have gratitude for what your food is doing for you. If you're reading this before taking your kids out for a treat, have gratitude for sweet treats being created for our pleasure and to bring us happy moments together. Start reprogramming your relationship with food.

Your whole world won't always start and end with what you eat and why. But it takes baby steps to get there. Just start simply with gratitude.



I'd love to hold space for your story if you're feeling called to share. The more awareness we can bring to this issue the more we can use this community to support one another. Send to my inbox or tag me

@balanced_body_restorative on IG or Allissa Lakatos on FB!

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